CoYoung children form strong emotional bonds and often feel uncomfortable when separated from their loved ones. Around the same time, toddlers usually want to do things on their own or according to their own wishes. This sets the stage for conflicts, confusion, and occasional outbursts of anger and crying. You have probably experienced this yourself. Therefore, we will try to illustrate this period from the perspective of their emotions, states, and how to cope with them.
Common Emotional and Social Developmental Problems
Problems with Emotion Regulation
Your toddler’s sense of self and the internal conflicts that arise often trigger irrational, extreme emotions that can change suddenly. Toddlers typically want to master skills and tasks independently, believing that what they want should happen. But what they want can change in an instant. Toddlers often see themselves as the directors of their lives, with you in a supporting role. Of course, they remain dependent on you. In an attempt to maintain control, they try to dictate how and when they need your help. For example, your child may want to eat with a spoon by themselves and get upset when you try to give them instructions. A few moments later, they may ask or demand that you help them. If something doesn’t happen the way the child thinks it “should,” they may become impatient, slightly frustrated, and unable to control their emotions, resulting in tears or throwing themselves on the floor over simple things.
Separation Anxiety
During their second year, many children experience anxiety due to occasional separation from their parents, as they are able to remember you after you have left but do not understand that you will return. Separation anxiety can become intense in daycare because the child anticipates that you will leave and fears being abandoned. These feelings are normal and usually peak around 10 months. As the brain matures, toddlers become better equipped to handle these transitions. Older children typically understand that you always come back, even when you are gone all day. Separation anxiety can also be a cause of sleep problems. You can help your child learn about constancy (and that you will return after a short absence) by playing games such as hide and seek. You can also hide toys under blankets while the child watches and then find them together.
Self-Soothing Behavior
Your child may use a comfort object, such as a blanket, stuffed toy, piece of parental clothing, or some other beloved item for comfort during stress or relaxation. The attachment that toddlers form with these objects helps them to calm down and soothe themselves. Most children eventually outgrow these attachments.
Problems with Sharing
Between 12 and 24 months, children begin to realize that they are individuals and independent from everyone else. Sharing can threaten or disrupt their sense of independence. You may often hear “mine” and “no” when you try to help your child share something with others. Don’t give up. Keep emphasizing the importance of sharing. It can also help if your child chooses a toy to put away while other children are around. This allows them to feel in control. Be patient. Your “mini tyrant” will soon react better to sharing with others.
Awareness of Others’ Emotions
When parents encourage and model awareness of other people’s feelings, toddlers begin to recognize examples of kindness, cooperation, and sympathy that will help them develop these social behaviors themselves. Providing positive feedback and explanations will also help children understand when they have behaved well. Young children also learn to read other people’s emotions and feelings. They know when their parents are angry, sad, or happy. Toddlers often find it difficult to handle this newfound ability. For example, they may recognize that their parents are not happy when they misbehave, but often don’t know what to do about it. Therefore, from the first days of your baby’s arrival at home, be careful how you behave and what you say in front of them. Little “sponges” absorb, follow, and imitate everything.
